there were so many plans for the 'Epic Road Trip' conclusion post and that post will still come, but at a later day when i am feeling less inclined for nostalgia. at the moment i am sitting in my bed trying not to let my mind do that thing it does where it cares too much for things that don't care about it. it is a very tiring process, let me tell you.
in the past few months i have had a cleansing of sorts. i feel like for a good portion of my life i have been surrounded by tragedy and sadness and chaos and i am finally at a point where i won't take it anymore. being an empathic person and always trying to keep everyone else's little ducks in a row has gotten me to a point where there is nothing left for me and i am questioning things and people that i have always put complete faith into. let me tell you kids, the people you love the most break your hearts the worst. i know that it doesn't HAVE to be that way, but it just is. it is until you take a stand and break your own heart so you can be reborn.
and so, here i am. new and clean. fresh and ready to wander and explore the world with my cameras and my words. ready to meet new people and to open myself up to a happy life, a happy place. where i don't have to question every action or inaction. where i can be still and trust in the moment, trust in this life.
in a way this is actually a partial conclusion to the 'Epic Road Trip' because it was that trip that really opened my eyes. i found so much peace and understanding from those moments of silence and laughter and wonder and eeriness. i realized that i am a person worth knowing, worth fighting for, worth the effort and i can't take any less than i put in.
i need people with truth and integrity and faithfulness surrounding me. i believe that all people can be those things and we shouldn't strive to be anything less, not just for those around us, but for ourselves. to all of those that i have waved goodbye to in the last year, i still love you, but i love me more. come find me when you love yourselves more too, i think we could really share a wonderful story together.
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